The final cycle of the FEC-T chemotherapy protocol

White lotus flower is known to symbolize being awakened and a state of mental purity

My neutrophil count on Day 15 of Cycle 5 was 1.9 X 10³/μL, way too low and definitely too short a time for the count to recover before Day 22 to receive the final injection of Cycle 6. My oncologist was pretty sure I won’t be able to make it! “Please inform the nurse not to insert the venous catheter in your next visit, we’ll just have the simple blood test first”, he told me. I was kind of disappointed….

Well, being the fighter that I am, I wasn’t ready to give up so soon! I have like 6 days to boost up my blood count!

Hence, for the next few days, I doubled everything I took normally; including the cactus extract drink,  large chunks of fish in every meal, comprising either salmon, grouper, pomfret or seabass, lots of multi-coloured vegetables, beetroot juice and gobbling down at least 3-4 kiwi fruits daily! In fact, I was rather excited to know if stuffing myself with all that food will help improve my blood count in mere 6 days without the filgrastim boost! 

On Day 1 of Cycle 6 (which was day 22 of Cycle 5), I had my blood test and to my surprise, my neutrophil count shot up to 6.5 X 10³/μL! Heaving a sigh of relief, I had my final Taxotere injection on the same day, desperately wanted to get over it, once and for all. My oncologist told me I will be fine without the filgrastim injection, as my blood counts seemed to recover quite well. I took it as a compliment. Now, did the Kiwi fruits help? Or the cactus drink? Or the fish? Nobody knows!

As expected, the first few days were fine for me. Unfortunately, I went totally flat from Day 4 onwards till Day 8 before regaining some energy. I think the side effects were accumulative, as this time I felt really tired, have poorer appetite, dry eyes, muscle and rib soreness, chills, occasional tummy ache and flatulence. I had acne breakouts and skin appeared patchy and rough for a few days.

Luckily by Day 10, most of the side effects were no longer significant. On Day 12, my blood test revealed a reasonable white cell count of more than 2. My doctor was happy but he still prescribed another round of prophylactic antibiotics.

From Day 14 onwards, the back and rib ache appeared to get more intense but manageable without analgesics, at least these are signs that the blood cells are actively reproducing inside the bones, hence the pain…

My fasting blood sugar was improving, after I avoided rice, bread, and noodles for a few weeks. Nope, I am not adhering to the strict ketogenic diet, as I still eat carrots, sweet potatoes, yam etc. Life is too short to be too rigid!

Lately, I realized that my weight gain was rather disturbing, more than 5kg in a few weeks! Absolutely distressing, despite the exercises and a reduced carbohydrate intake. The steroid injections plus the chemotherapy-induced menopause and subsequently a reduced metabolism rate coupled with fluid retention, and there you go, weight gain and a puffy face! I hope I will be able to put off some kilos in the next few months.

I have been having trouble sleeping too. Quite often I woke up around midnight and stayed into the wee hours of the morning….thinking lots of things, for example, the country’s worsening ringgit, why my colleague behaves like a pain in the ass, and why nincompoops can be ministers, and why and why…..these neurological side effects are definitely detrimental to my mental health!

Hot flushes crept in lately, a result of the chemotherapy-induced menopause. Not a pleasant experience especially at night. 

I have been having dry eyes and blurry vision at times, and was told this side effect will be temporary and will go off eventually (not exactly sure when, but I hope soon, as it is affecting my work with the computer).

Fortunately, my skin and nails remained reasonably normal looking, no ulcers, sore mouth or dental problems. Tiny hairs were seen growing but I think lacking of quality, compared with the original! Anyway, I will shave my head again after I completed my radiotherapy; will give time for new and better quality hair to grow. I still have my eyebrow and lashes intact albeit thinner, so there is no urgent need for eye brow reconstruction at the moment!

 This 24^th November marks the 21^st day of the final cycle of the FEC-T treatment protocol. I am feeling great than ever and certainly looking forward to my radiotherapy, scheduled on the 28^th of November 2016.

A tribute to my father

Lovely Bromeliad.....

This 24^th November 2016 marks the 100^th day passing of our father, whom we affectionately call “Pak”, a traditional name for father among the Nyonyas and Babas of Melaka. My father is Hainanese and my mum is Nyonya, and we are so proud of our mixed Hainanese and Nyonya lineage....the rich culture and the comfort food! My father is a great cook, a plumber, an electrician, a carpenter and a handy man in the house for the longest time! We miss him dearly.....

Pak,

Masih segar tanggal 17 Ogos 2016 atas pemergian mu,

Masih diiingat kesakitan yang dialami mu

Masih dibayang  kesedihan bercampur pilu

Masih berlinangan air mata tangisan dan rindu

Namun, apa yang tinggal cuma memori yang berlalu

Saat detik hembusan nafas terakhir mu

Masih tak percaya seratus hari telah berlalu

Ayah telah pergi untuk selamanya

Maafkan-lah kami semua

yang kurang membahagiakan diri mu

di waktu hidup, tua dan uzur mu…..

Pak, panggilan sejak lahir di muka bumi

Namun masa itu kita tidak mengerti

Hasrat seorang ayah dengan korban dan bakti

Agar anak hidup dengan budi perkerti

Pak,

Kami akan sentiasa menghargai ajaran mu

Menjadi manusia bersoleh dan berilmu

Akan dibayang kebijaksanaan dan kerendahan mu

Akan dikenang seumur hidup atas pergorbananmu

Pak,

Semoga berbahagia di alam sana

Semoga  tenang di syurga-Nya

Selamat jalan ayah yang tersayang

Kami berjanji akan jaga ibu sebaik-baiknya

Kami juga akan hidup dengan bahagianya


Coincidentally, this date also marks the end of my chemotherapy treatment, and all that I have gone through will remain as memories, both sweet and painful.