Post-surgery recovery

On the  3^rd visit to the surgeon, he handed me the tumor marker report. “M, you are lucky, the cancer is ER and PR positive and c-erb negative!”. “It basically means your chemotherapy sessions will be shorter and there will be no Herceptin”. “Hmm, ok”, again, a response with an attitude. In my heart, I was screaming, "I am so lucky among the unfortunate!, Should I cry with joy now?". 

“M..., I am very surprised with your response so far, you seemed to take it very well, from the beginning”. I just smiled, “Perhaps I read a lot and know what’s going on”. I was thinking….does he expect me to break down and cry?. 

“You know M..., cancer is very much luck, I have a couple of patients, some of them young, healthy, exercise in the gym, look good and have young children, but when they came in, they came in with Stage IV cancer. These patients kept on asking me, why him, why them? I really have no answer. I think this happens when God decides to play the lottery and just happen your name rolled out”. 

I thought I was surprised with these statements but I guess he just wanted to console me. I just simply ended by conversation by saying, “Thank you for the surgery, appreciate it very much” and bade him goodbye. That was the longest time I spent in his clinic, hardly more than 10 mins. Dozens of his patients were still waiting for their turn. I just went straight home.

I saw him a week later and got the referral letter to the oncologist, of my choice. Prior to that, I did some homework and thought GMC will be a good place, and then decided on a doctor. On the same day, I drove to GMC and waited for the oncologist for nearly 2 hours, A pleasant looking doctor, he took some time explaining the treatment protocol and confidently told me that none of his patients undergoing chemotherapy have gone through nausea and vomiting. That was a huge relief! He explained other side effects, like losing hair, which I quickly said “Nah, that’s not a problem for me!”. He thumbs up at me and smiled. I must be utterly strong and shameless when saying that. “Ok, I will arrange for the chemotherapy this Monday?”. “Hmm, I prefer this Friday, so that I could do some arrangements and other things, oh yes, I need a letter from you to apply the medical cancer leave from the university”. “ Sure, you will have a total CT scan on the same day as well”. The nurse gave me his HP number and reminded me the next appointment.

Somehow, I was relieved that my first injection would be a week later…at least I have a few days to enjoy myself before the sick days? I went shopping the next day, cut my hair short and have an hour long of foot massage. I ordered some nice scarves and a wig online. I know the journey will be long and winded but I am ready.